Are you in a great marriage or could it be better? Have you ever wondered what that one couple you know does differently that causes them to have the perfect marriage? Well if you don't have the perfect marriage or maybe you would like to take it from good to great then continue reading and hopefully you'll gain some helpful tips.
As we go through life with our spouse or significant other there are times we may not feel that they love us like they once did at the beginning of the relationship. The reason for this is that at the beginning we are trying to do everything possible to please our partner and win their love. After we have "won" our partner's love and we become a couple, we take for granted what we once cherished and stop doing the "little extras" that we did in the beginning.
Now as time goes on and we attempt to change the situation in our relationship we often do different things trying to show our spouse how much we love them. Have you ever decided you were going to clean the house, do the dishes, even mop the kitchen floor hoping to show your wife how much you care for her? No? Maybe you buy your spouse gifts to show them you care about them? Maybe you try to hold their hand when walking down the street or pay them complements? After doing such things have you felt that you didn't get any love back from your spouse?
The reason you may not feel that you are getting any love back from your spouse even though you are trying to show love to them is because you are not speaking THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE. Gary Chapman in his book, The Five Love Languages, describes how everyone has a major and a minor love language. We usually "talk" to our spouse in our love language, but the problem is that our love language may not be our spouse's love language. It is similar to you speaking English while your mate only understands German. Your mate isn't going to show much love to a person that they don't even understand what is being said.
The five love languages are:
Acts of Service -- you feel most loved when your spouse does things for you (ie. cleans the house).
Receiving Gifts -- you feel most loved when you receive gifts, no matter size/cost as it's the
thought that counts.
Physical Touch -- you feel most loved with physical contact even as simple as holding hands
Words of Affirmation -- you feel most loved when kind words of affirmation are expressed to you.
Quality Time -- you feel most loved when you spend time with the one you love.
Now the way you express your love to your partner is most likely YOUR major love language and may not be your partner's. Even if your partner isn't willing to read the book, I encourage you to read the book and learn how to speak your partner's love language. In time they will automatically recipricate your love language back to you. The reason they start speaking your love language is because they feel loved by you and they get into that "honeymoon" stage again and try to do everything to please you.
Decide today to learn your partner's love language and begin to improve your relationship at home.